I hope all of my dear friends had a happy happy Thanksgiving full of family and friends and delicious food. It’s crazy that Thanksgiving day was almost two weeks ago already. The past few weeks have been the craziest events of my life.
Our Thanksgiving was wonderful, spent with all of our families. We divvied up our time perfectly and ended the weekend feeling full in all the best ways.
Unfortunately, sometimes things happen that are just so far out of our control. We found out Sunday morning that four of my family members from California were killed in a drunk driving accident. The worst news I’ve ever gotten? Yes. Absolutely.
The next few days proceeded with getting on a flight and getting there. That was the only thing I could do. I needed to be there. I needed to hug my aunt and cousins. I needed to be with them. To grieve with them. I got on a flight Tuesday morning and spent the last week with my family, trying to wrap our heads around this horrific event, sharing favorite memories of our Uncle Daryl, Silly Troy, Baden and Joe.
So here I am today. I am back in my home in Philadelphia. We had a beautiful service for them on Sunday, which gave as good of closure as it could for such tragic events. Gosh, I learned a lot about my family. I learned how loved my uncle was. I knew it, but it was so clear. I learned how brave my cousins Greta and Jared are. They have such strength that I can’t even understand. I am proud to be related to them.
But yes, back to today. I’m on the couch, drinking coffee, easing into the day and into the week and into this next season. There are a lot of upcoming things on mine and Mark’s plates, and I’m just trying to take it slow. I want to live for today, this moment I’m sitting in now. This past week’s events have reminded me how fragile this life is. I’m doing my best to remember that and to breathe into every moment of the day, and really sit in it. Right now, it’s uncomfortable. The silence makes me think of my family who passed. It makes me think of my aunt who lost her husband and son. It’s uncomfortable and uneasy, but it’s healing.
So that’s where I’ve been. This brain and heart dump feels cathartic. Today’s plans include painting and embroidering. I’m going to get my hands dirty doing some things I really really love to do. Effie is snoring by my side and today feels good. My eyes are still swollen, my heart heavy, but I’m healing.